Everything You Wanted to Know about toddlogansdesk.com but Didn’t Really Give a Damn to Ask

1. Why Toddlogansdesk.com?

It’s an end run in a bricks and mortar world.

2. What the hell does that mean?

Instead of sitting around waiting for theaters to get back to me, I said the hell with it and decided to record stuff and distribute them thru this website.

3. Are any other playwrights doing this?

As far as I know, no.

4. So, you’re the first?

What did I just say?

5. It was a rhetorical question.

How was I supposed to know?

6. It was in my tone.

Was it?

7. I thought so.

Didn’t really hear it.

6. If you re-read it, you’ll see it’s there.

Just did. Still don’t see it.

7. Believe me it’s there.

This is important to you… that I see it.

8. Yes, it is.

I’ll try to do better.

9. Thank you. Now let’s get back to toddlogansdesk.com. Could you tell us a little something about the work?

Like what?

10. Your movie, WITH A FAMILY LIKE MINE… is it about a family like yours?

I like to believe it’s about all families.

movie poster

11. In this particular movie, there are three sisters, a mother, and a brother named, Todd. In your family, you have three sisters, a mother, and your name is Todd.

Okay, okay, I’ll cop to this one. It’s about my family.

12. Axes to grind?

Working out stuff.

13. How did your family feel about you making a movie about them?

Let’s just say it was an adventure.

14. Can you be more specific?

Okay, okay, at first my mother –

15. — Marcelle?

That’s her name in the movie. She was pretty ticked off when she read the script. She thought my sisters came off poorly and I made myself seem great.

16. Can you be more specific?

Well… alright, she said I made one sister a hypochondriac, another a hysteric, and the third came across as a mafia don.

17. Ouch!

Actually, my sister’s were okay with it.

18. But not happy campers about you coming off smelling like a rose?

I want to make two points about that. One, I think if you watch the movie closely, you’ll see it’s just the opposite; every trait of theirs that I make fun of, my character ends up exhibiting the same traits in spades. Two, yes, I suppose in the end my character shines, but, and this is an important but, it’s not easy writing a screenplay with twenty-three characters, so if I want to pump up my character, I think I’m entitiled, if you know what I mean.

19. Is it true your mother made you re-shoot the ending?

She didn’t make me. After the first family screening, she made a strong suggestion, which I, upon reflection and her badgering, thought had merit, so we shot a new ending.

20. What was her suggestion?

Sorry, you need to see the movie.

21. Fair enough. Segue, segue, segue. In your play PERSISTENCE OF VISION, which is set in an emergency room, the character Mr. Ganz believes he might have had a heart attack. The questions the doctor asks him are so thorough. Did you have to do a lot of research?

Zero.

22. Really?

I knew this stuff like the back of my hand.

23. You’ve had a heart attack?

No, but in the last 30 years I’ve had four fake heart attacks. The first one was in Dubrovnik when my wife and I were on our honeymoon. The last one was after I ski trip. I woke up up at 5:00 in the morning with the most searing chest pains. I woke up my wife, who happens to share the same bed, and told her I thought I was having a heart attack. She told me to drive myself to the ER and to call her if it was really a heart attack.

24. Kinda cold, wouldn’t you say?

No. She’s just been through the drill. Turned out, by the way, to be bruised ribs from a ski fall. If you know anything about bruised ribs, they’re as painful, if not more painful, than a heart attack.

25. In your play SEPARATE VACATIONS, the character Teddy has a low pain threshold…

Your point?

26. Just an observation.

Acutely observed.

27. Segue, segue, segue. TOPS OR BOTTOMS is your sex play. Can you tell us about the title?

Tops or bottoms is a striptease game the characters played early in their relationship.

28. A game you and your wife play?

No.

29. No?

Believe it or not, some of my stuff is original.

30. That’s refreshing.

It’s true! If you don’t mind, I’d like to wrap up this blog.

31. Just a few more questions.

Shoot.

32. People can come to this site and listen to your plays and watch your movie and it’s all free?

That’s right.

33. And, they can download all of this for free, too?

Yep.

34. This might be a really, really stupid question, but you can’t make money this way, can you?

You’re right, it’s a really, really stupid question.

35. Then why are you doing it?

Maybe I want to put my work out there, maybe I think I have something to say. Yes, I know that sounds pretentious, but I don’t care. Just maybe, by taking this approach, one day someone is going to offer me a boatload of dough for this crap, I mean stuff, I mean art.

36. Yeah, good luck with all that.

Last question.

36. Now that you have your own website, do you Google yourself?

All the time.

One Response to “Everything You Wanted to Know about toddlogansdesk.com but Didn’t Really Give a Damn to Ask”

  1. Lisa Says:

    Hi…Man i just love your blog, keep the cool posts comin..holy Sunday.

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