Archive for October, 2007

Everything You Wanted to Know about but Didn’t Really Give a Damn to Ask

Sunday, October 21st, 2007

1. Why

It’s an end run in a bricks and mortar world.

2. What the hell does that mean?

Instead of sitting around waiting for theaters to get back to me, I said the hell with it and decided to record stuff and distribute them thru this website.

3. Are any other playwrights doing this?

As far as I know, no.

4. So, you’re the first?

What did I just say?

5. It was a rhetorical question.

How was I supposed to know?

6. It was in my tone.

Was it?

7. I thought so.

Didn’t really hear it.

6. If you re-read it, you’ll see it’s there.

Just did. Still don’t see it.

7. Believe me it’s there.

This is important to you… that I see it.

8. Yes, it is.

I’ll try to do better.

9. Thank you. Now let’s get back to Could you tell us a little something about the work?

Like what?

10. Your movie, WITH A FAMILY LIKE MINE… is it about a family like yours?

I like to believe it’s about all families.

movie poster

Man-Made Natural Disaster Show Biz Story

Monday, October 15th, 2007

After my play, BOTANICAL GARDENS, was cancelled I sent out an email blast encouraging people to read my blog, ‘Theater Camp Sucked.’ In that email I also offered a six-pack of beer to the best career or show biz disaster story. I was recently reminded by the only entrant that I hadn’t announced a winner. For this I sincerely apologize not only to our winner, ‘Norma Rae,’ (gee, how original), I also apologize to all of you who’ve also been waiting anxiously. While Norma Rae’s tale doesn’t top ‘Theater Camp Sucked,’ it is prize-worthy.

Norma Rae writes:

Todd, here is my “Man-Made Natural Disaster Show Biz Story”:
I wish they would cancel the show I am currently “in rehearsal” for. Now, mind you, there is nothing I enjoy more than embodying a fully-realized character in a very well-written play. And this play won the Pulitzer Prize. But, the performance space is currently under water. Which also means the rehearsal space is currently under water (and untreated sewage). The director took an acting job – in Rockford! and so he won’t “be around very much, and won’t be able to attend the performances…” – but “assured” the other actor and myself that a stage manager may be able to attend one of the rehearsals – at one of the actor’s homes, maybe? – when he is not there. The play is scheduled to open in two weeks. Did I mention that the performance space is very precariously near (in) the Des Plaines River? Did I also mention that my rain dance should also win the Pulitzer Prize (if there is such a thing for dance choreography?) There should be. The river crests at nine feet. I never would have known that before this “process”. I also never thought it would be possible to fill out an Actors Equity Association Application WHILE performing a rain dance. It is.

Pretty good, don’t you think?

There are three postscripts to this story. The first is Norma Rae’s play was cancelled. For this she’s extremely grateful. The second is Norma Rae has decided to take a break from acting. The tipping point wasn’t her torrential tale of woe; rather it was the insulting experience of a director not casting her in the role of ‘the wife,’ because in ‘real’ life she’s never been married. Can they do that, you wonder? They can do any damn thing they want. Finally, Norma Rae is thrilled to have won the contest. Just one problem, she wants to swap the six-pack for a Starbuck’s cappuccino, grande, two-percent, extra foam. Yeah, Norma Rae, good luck with that!